Zuko's Recovery Journal
by yorozuyagaren
Summary: "It's been a while since I've kept a journal... This seems to be a time for starting new things, though, so I'll give it a try." A chronicle of the aftermath of the series finale. Spoilers for everything, naturally.
1. Summer week 1, Monday

For Serene Ice Dragon, who told me to write it down rather than just lying in bed narrating it to myself.

Author's note: I made up the calendar system for this. It is solar-based, consisting of four seasons each broken up into 13 weeks, beginning on the solstice/equinox of the season in question, and the first day of the season is always a Sunday. New Year's is not considered a weekday, and falls on the day before the spring equinox.

* * *

100 ASC, Summer week 1, Monday

It's been a while since I've kept a journal. My old one probably got destroyed when my ship got blown up last winter, but it was really just a log of my hunt for the Avatar, and I've never been much of a one for journal-writing in general. This seems like a time for starting new things, though, so I'll give it a try.

My coronation is tomorrow. Katara is furious, saying I shouldn't be out of bed yet, but everyone agrees that it can't be put off. The Fire Nation needs a ruler, and even though I still feel like I got run over by a herd of camelephants, I need to show the world that I'm alive and functional. I'm not really looking forward to it. I'm scared I might fall over in front of everybody.

Yesterday still seems almost surreal. Fighting my sister was something that needed to happen just like my coronation needs to happen, but that didn't make it any less difficult. And it was. Not only because as crazy as she is, she's still my kid sister, but because even crazy, she was still very, very powerful. Katara was nice enough to point out that I'm lucky to be alive (I know she means well, but it still reminds me of how my father would say the same thing), but it's just as true that _Katara's_ lucky to be alive. I don't want to think about what Aang might have said or done if I'd had to tell him I'd gotten the love of his life killed. It probably would have been safer if I'd gotten myself killed as well. As it was, I collapsed as soon as the adrenaline rush wore off. I don't remember anything else until I woke up a few hours ago in my own bed, so I'm guessing Katara must have carried me inside somehow. I can't imagine she could have done it without help, small as she is, but nobody else was around. I can only assume that the others showed up, but from what I hear, they weren't in the best of shape either.

Honestly, I'm kind of surprised that they all survived. Especially after Toph told me about how she and Sokka and Suki had taken out all those airships. I'm glad they're alive, and I really want to hear Sokka's side of the airship story. Toph's description had quite a few gaps.

They haven't found Mai yet. Ty Lee was with the Kyoshi warriors and the rest of the invasion force in the Capital City Prison, but according to her, Mai had been taken somewhere else a few days before and hadn't come back. It would be just my luck that the Avatar and his friends all make it out fine, but I end up losing Mai. In any case, there's not much I can do right now, and I know that Ty Lee and the others are still looking for her.

Katara's coming in, and she doesn't look happy. She says I need sleep, and she's threatening to take my journal away.

* * *

Same day, a bit later

The good news is that I'm feeling better enough to be bored. The bad news is that I'm bored. Crap, Katara's coming again.


	2. Summer week 1, Wednesday

Author's note: I made up the calendar system for this. It is solar-based, consisting of four seasons each broken up into 13 weeks, beginning on the solstice/equinox of the season in question, and the first day of the season is always a Sunday. New Year's is not considered a weekday, and falls on the day before the spring equinox.

I deliberately left out Zuko's visit to his father after the coronation. Ostensibly he wouldn't want anyone finding out, and his journal isn't exactly private at the moment.

* * *

100 ASC, Summer week 1, Wednesday

Katara gave my journal back today, on the condition that I stay in bed and don't move too much or scratch at my bandages. She's even left me a guard to make sure I follow orders. You'll never guess who my guard is- Mai. Turns out that when Ty Lee saw her taken away it because her uncle had pulled strings to get her released, and she'd been safe in hiding the whole time. She showed up just in time to help me get dressed for my coronation, and to tell me that she didn't hate me for breaking up with her, but that I'd better not do it ever again. No chance of that. She stood up to my sister for me, and that's not the sort of thing you forget. She's been keeping me company, and right now she's peeking over my shoulder.

Yes Mai, I'm writing about you.

So, the coronation. I asked Katara to give me something to keep me from falling over, which turned out to be a nasty gloop that made me feel like I was going to throw up, but once it was down, I felt excellent. Katara warned me that it wasn't a healing potion, it was a "keep going until you're someplace you can safely fall down" potion, and if I did anything more strenuous than getting crowned, she'd have Mai tie me down until I was fully healed. In her own way, Katara's almost as scary as Azula. I hope Aang knows what he's doing.

I saw Sokka at the coronation. He was hobbling around on crutches and looking incredibly pleased with himself, but he rushed off before I could ask him about the airships. Afterward I managed to get back to my room just as the gloop wore off, and I slept for a good twelve hours. That's what the gloop does, apparently. You feel great for a few hours and then you crash, hard.

I woke up hungry, which is a good sign, and itchy, which is another good sign, except it means I have to scratch when Katara and Mai aren't looking or I get yelled at. There was some sort of commotion outside my door earlier today, that sounded suspiciously like one of my father's ministers (mine now, I guess) trying to gain an audience for some reason. Katara was somewhere else (probably harassing her brother about his leg), but Mai told him that the Fire Lord was not to be disturbed and to come back on Friday. I appreciate the thought, but I should probably start granting audiences fairly soon if I want to be taken seriously. Most of the ministers still remember me as my father's failure. If I keep hiding in my room, they'll keep right on thinking it, which isn't a great way to start my reign.

I'll have to ask Katara if she'll give me more of that gloop. I'd rather not conduct affairs of state from my bedroom.

* * *

Same day, later

No more gloop, says Katara. Not unless the palace is on fire and I need to evacuate. When I asked her how I was supposed to run the country, she told me that the country could run itself for another week. I'm not sure whether I believe that or not. Toph has been added to my guard contingent. She can tell when I'm scratching even when she's outside the door.


	3. Summer week 1, Thursday

Author's note: I made up the calendar system for this. It is solar-based, consisting of four seasons each broken up into 13 weeks, beginning on the solstice/equinox of the season in question, and the first day of the season is always a Sunday. New Year's is not considered a weekday, and falls on the day before the spring equinox.

In which Zuko dies of itchy.

* * *

100 ASC, Summer week 1, Thursday

I swear, I am losing my mind. Any minute now, I'm going to burst into mad cackling and start calling myself the Phoenix King, or the Boarcupine Lord, or something, because EVERYTHING IS SO FREAKING ITCHY. I hate this part. I know it's a good thing, I know it means it's healing, but ugh... And best of all, Katara says I've healed enough that I don't need painkillers, so now I'm sore on top of being itchy. I'm pretty sure my bandages don't need to be this tight. I think she's being vindictive. This is her revenge for everything I did when I was trying to capture them.

* * *

This is over the top. Cruel and unusual punishment far beyond anything I ever did to them. And after I saved her life, too! She's just as bad as Azula, if not worse.

That may have been out of line. Katara is a healer. She's doing her best as a healer. Except she's also a fourteen year old girl. With a grudge. Even though I saved her life. Girls are weird. I'm sorry Katara, Mai, Toph, and anybody else who might end up reading this, because I know it'll end up getting confiscated again and you'll probably pass it around and laugh at how pathetic I am.

Maybe if I call it penance for betraying Uncle? He never did get angry with me for it. What would Uncle suggest I do...

Meditate, probably.

* * *

I was never very good at meditating. Especially not when I'm ITCHY.

* * *

Same day, later

Sokka came to visit, finally. He made for a good distraction from my bandages. We ate lunch together, and complained about Katara. It seems his leg was pretty broken, but Katara's been healing it with waterbending and he'll be off his crutches in a couple days. Lucky jerk. I'm still in bandages. Apparently waterbending healing doesn't work as well for poorly-redirected lightning bolts as it does for broken legs. Figures.

I got the full story about the airships. Toph didn't leave out as much as I'd thought. If I'd had doubts about Sokka's ability as a strategist, I don't have them anymore. I asked him if he wanted to stay here and be one of my ministers, but he said he'd be leaving in a few days with Aang and Katara. Again, figures. I could use some more friends here.

I could use something for this stupid itching. Katara's got to have something. _Somebody's_ got to have something. I wonder what happened to that healer girl in the Earth Kingdom who saved Uncle when he poisoned himself. I stole her ostrich horse. It was kind of a jerk thing to do, but then, I was kind of a jerk.

I don't have very good luck with healers, do I? I seem to be very good at getting them angry at me. Not a very good idea for a guy who's going to get himself injured.

I guess I'll call this penance, then. For everything I've ever done to healers.


	4. Summer week 1, Friday

Author's note: I made up the calendar system for this. It is solar-based, consisting of four seasons each broken up into 13 weeks, beginning on the solstice/equinox of the season in question, and the first day of the season is always a Sunday. New Year's is not considered a weekday, and falls on the day before the spring equinox.

I upped the rating because Zuko is turning out to have more issues than I thought, and because Ozai is a terrible person.

* * *

100 ASC, Summer week 1, Friday

I slept all morning, and some of the afternoon. Still itchy. My head's been hurting something awful, which Katara blames on the heat. I don't think it's been much hotter than usual this time of year, but it's been a while since I've experienced a Fire Nation summer, and anyway I can't argue with feeling like crap. The minister from a few days ago came back today, and the girls made him wait outside because I was asleep. He left after three hours, and I never did find out what he wanted. This is not a good way to run a country. I really need to heal up fast so I can take charge of things. That's reasonable, right?

Judging by what I wrote yesterday, I was completely off my head. That worries me a little. What happens if I go crazy every time I'm uncomfortable, and use it as an excuse to start executing people or something? Katara and Toph won't always be here to yell at me, after all, and the others... well, technically only the Avatar has more authority than the Fire Lord, so if I go off my head and start shouting orders, the only person who'll have the authority to disobey them will be Aang. Who I haven't seen since my coronation, because he's been busy doing all the things I can't at the moment. I'm kind of surprised that the girls are getting away with nursing me like this. I can imagine from the outside it looks like the Fire Lord is a weak child being controlled by foreigners. Not good for my public image, which in turn is not good for my continued health. Even my father had to deal with assassination attempts, and I'm kind of a sitting duck right now. I wish the Kyoshi girls weren't, well, girls. I trust them, both as fighters and as, well, not-enemies, but if I take them on as my guards, people will whisper about it. Politically, it wouldn't be a good idea.

* * *

Late afternoon

It's been less than an hour since Katara changed my bandages, and I'm already itchy again. Apparently I'm allergic to something that the bandages were treated with, and I'd broken out in hives underneath. Katara tut-tutted me, held some glow-y healing water over the worst of it, and then bandaged me right back up again. I haven't quite decided whether she's truly evil, or just ruthless and terrifyingly practical.

She did say she'd look into finding different bandages though. That's something, at least. And she apologized. I guess she means well, but I'm thinking maybe I should get an actual doctor in at some point.

* * *

Evening

Somebody mentioned my hives to Ty Lee, and she went "Oh, that's just like Azula got that one time at school when they ran out of her special bandages!" So I have the same allergy as my sister, and luckily the servants always kept special bandages on hand for her and now, I guess, for me. I'm a lot more comfortable now, but having something in common with Azula is unsettling. It brings up some awkward questions, too- I would get injured a lot as a kid. Never anything serious, just bumps and scrapes and the occasional burn from firebending practice, but they always seemed to take forever to heal, and they always itched something awful. My mother said I was just a slow healer, and not to worry about it, that it meant more time that I got to spend with her instead of with Father and Azula. He must have known about Azula's allergy, if they kept special bandages on hand for her. I can't help wondering if he knew about mine as well...

Just another way that he was the worst father ever, I guess. I'll have to ask Uncle about it next time I see him.


End file.
